66th NMMEA All-State

It's too late to try to be poetic about it, so I'll get right to the point: Andrew, Chelsea, and I all made the All-State Mixed Choir tonight! I sung small portions of three out of the six songs I memmorized, and after I finnished, my judge wrote a blue star on my right hand, which meant, "I'll see you tomorrow morning for rehearsal; you may go get your seat assignment now; have fun."

Wow.

I can't believe how many fears this audition brought up in me.They did a really amazing thing, though: The very first thing we did as band, choir, and orchestra students who had all been selected from the primary auditions (which really were the ones we had the right to be worried about; this one just had far more hope riding on it, having made it so far and worked so hard already...) were gathered into a HUGE theatre: Pope Joy Hall at UNM. That is the stage we will be performing on, (Saturday 9th at 9:00; adults $7, students $3). We got to listen to a concert of the honor jazz band, which was from Las Cruces. The trumpets and horns amazed me with their soft, floating melodies, and exciting sounds. In the dark of that huge auditorium, it all felt surreal. The music was so calming; I could feel the tension leaving me. The director seemed to laid-back, tapping his foot, moving his hands gently, walking around from student to student, listening, giving small, presumably wordless cues and instructions... as great performers, I could tell they were so involved in the music they were playing. It was FUN. It reminded me, before the stress of trying out to know for sure that all of the information they were giving on the rehearsals of the next two days would even be relevant to me in an hour, the reason why I was there at all: "oh yeah...MUSIC."

Throughout the course of the night, I was amazed at music. After I found out I made it, I peed out my relief (I appolagize if it's TMI), and while I was in the bathroom, a girl walked into a stall a few down from mine, singing one of our songs; when she stopped, I finnished it for her and we both laughed. As I washed my hands, I heard two girls outside practicing a Treble choir song in Italian. Their harmonizing notes floated and echoed through the bathroom, even through the door from the hall where they were sitting, studying their music. The sweet harmonies, the sweet words and phrases stunned me, moved me- so beautiful! In the hall where we were waiting to meet up with each other afterwards, I heard a large group of singers up the stairs on the balcony of the second level, vibrating with the familiar tones of another of the songs we will be sining, my personal favorite: "I am not yours." It reverberated; I could practically feel the low notes move through my body. I could hear all the parts, but it sounded like one voice. People all gathered together like that, having been given the ability (given from their teachers, the opportunity of the experience, and by themselbes and all of the hard work they had put in) to be able to sing together, to create something so beatuiful, so powerful, so gentle and moving and deep...that's when I first felt tears, because tomorrow, I will be a part of that. I will have a place in that wholeness, in that belonging. Oh it will reverberate all right: two hundred and fifty voices all joining sensitively together to create something that will MOVE with purpose and feeling and oneness.

I can't find the page in my book to find the actual word (I will need to track it down at some point because it's my homework) but in English this morning, I learned that the Greek word for poet means a "maker," one who creates something out of nothing. Out of nothing, we will be creating music. Complicated, careful- creation of SOMETHING, using only our bodies; we are poets, and "poetry actively intervenes in the world and transforms it for the better"(Sir Philip Sydney).

As we ate some complimentary pizza (and cookies), a group of people behind us was singing along to a guitar, which also added to my reflection on what an incredible thing this strange substance is, of sound and emotion, bringing people together (or leaving people out), a gift that can be practiced, but not really controlled. Not really. "You can feel a song comming like a dog feels a storm in it's bones." I was joking when I said that, but really: where does it come from? Ms.Clark began improvising on the piano in class yesterday and I was struck by the simply beauty of the melody that flowed effortlessly from her fingertips, the first and only time those notes will probably ever be played exactly that way.

I better stop reflecting on how incredible it all is, because I'm sure the "complicated" fascination of it will seem far less intriguing tomorrow morning at 5:30 when I have to get ready for a 12 hour rehearsal. I cannot even soak this in, though- that I get to do this with two of the most beautiful people I know. To be able to work with such a team is beyond priceless. This is the first and last time I will do this, and could not be more thrilled, more humbly filled with gratitude, awe, excitement... Please, Lord, let me be fully open to the joy you have given me ~ Oh thank You ~

QUOTES (I was going to share them yesterday, too; I've been thinking of them a lot)
"Great things are not done by impulse, but by a series of small things brought together." -Vincent Van Gogh

"You've got to get up every morning with determination if you're going to go to bed with satisfaction." -George Horace Lorimer

"Choose a job you love, and you'll never work a day in your life." -Confucious (I like this one the best of these, I think)